When we set boundaries, it protects our time, defends our energy and sets expectations with others to maximize our time. In a 24/7 non-stop world — we have the option to work all the time which makes boundaries blurred or even nonexistent.
Boundaries should be based on your values or priorities that are the most important in your life. Your boundaries are yours and yours alone. Your boundaries or priorities might align with those who are close to you, but others may be unique to your life and needs. To improve boundary setting, you must determine your top priorities or values in life and work.
Values are those qualities, people, behaviors, and things we hold as important or worthy. We can identify our values by noting how we invest our time, money, and energy. Bitterness and nearing the “burned out” stage can occur if what feeds and fuels you is ignored or neglected.
That is why setting and maintaining boundaries are so crucial to well-being and having a balanced life however it is often overlooked. When you put in the effort required to make what is important to you happen you FIRST must identify what you value the most to be able to protect it. An example of what I value in my life is quality time with my family. My “family time boundary” that I set in my work life is that I am clear with clients that I am open and typically available from 9:00 to 4:00. After that I am off the clock allowing quality time for family and resetting myself to conserve energy to bring my best the following day.
Most of our days are spent giving to others or serving, supporting, and assisting clients or our family. Once you realize that this “generosity” cannot exist without boundaries. Without boundaries, or living a “boundaryless” life, you will tap out of energy.
So, how does one set the boundaries that work for your life?
First, define your priorities. Setting boundaries starts with identifying, accepting, communicating, and upholding limits can be formed by your values, standards, and principles in life. Start by making a list of your top priorities. Think about how you want to spend your time and what you cherish the most. Your list might include anything from “enjoying nature” to “time with friends” to “daily think-time”.
Also consider what makes you feel alive, fulfilled, and balanced. To identify your top priorities as yourself
What boundaries need to stay in place for me to be happy?
What boundaries do I need to be at my absolute best self?
You may take it a step further by formulating a list of activities, interests, environments, or commitments that bring out or maintain your best self. Items on this list might range from the simple example of “getting 8 hours of quality sleep” or “reading” to more bucket list activities like “travel internationally”. They may also go deeper into “continually growing personally,” “volunteering to help those in need”, or “daily self-care to take care of my body, mind, and spirit ”. Defining these priorities and adding to this list as you reflect routinely can help you understand how to turn your priorities into what boundaries need to be set to protect them.
Do a daily self-check-in to ensure your boundaries are protecting what you value. Remembering what you are focused on and how you spend your time reflect your top priorities.
Best of luck in your journey to determine your values, and priorities and set healthy boundaries!
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